Infidelity, jealousy, dependency, communication problems and couple crisis. Phone: 600440004
Emotional dependence
Treatment of emotional dependence in couples
One of the most frequent reasons for consultation for psychologists is codependency or emotional dependence. It is a problem for which there is a strong need for a partner who requires constant attention and affection. It affects both men and women. The difference is that men who suffer from it tend to hide it much more out of shame, thus aggravating the problem. This situation can be experienced in a timely manner with a relationship, but more often than not, the pattern is repeated with each and every one of the couples you have. This dependence is not due to more or less objective reasons (economic, handicaps of some kind...), but is purely a need for love. Whoever suffers from it is a person with a tremendous fear of loneliness and who does not conceive of his life without a partner. A striking fact is that, generally, the emotionally dependent seeks dominant, strong-willed, rather selfish and egocentric, inconsiderate, possessive and even despotic partners, capable of physical and/or psychological abuse, whom they idealize in extreme. You live by and for the couple. The people close to the emotionally dependent try to make him see that the relationship he maintains is pathological and that it only makes him suffer. The clerk will confront them for defending their relationship and will even demand special treatment from their relatives towards their partner, just as he does. To overcome emotional dependence, it would be interesting to start psychological therapy aimed at disengaging from the couple. Not doing so can have disastrous consequences, since it frequently leads to physical and/or psychological abuse. However, this is so obvious, it is very difficult to put it into practice. As in any other addiction, the sufferer must recognize that they have a problem and want to find a solution. This is very difficult since the dependent will always find a thousand and one excuses to justify his behavior: "You don't know him/her well" "He loves me very much" "I'm also to blame"... No therapy will ever work that is not initiated by own will and as in other addictions, the first step would be the total break with the couple to get out of the problematic situation. How can the family act in these cases? Never giving in to avoid promoting the situation. That is to say, you must not pay attention to the dependent who will pretend that you continue to be treated with deference, absolute respect and submission to your partner. It is about not abandoning the dependent but not being complicit in their pathological relationship. You can only talk to the patient and explain that you can always count on the help of the family when you want to put an end to the situation. If this occurs, welcome him and prevent all contact with the couple and accompany him to therapy. The psychologist will not only work with the patient to help them directly overcome affective dependency, but will also give guidelines to the family members on how to act in specific situations. << Lo que más destaca en las personas con alta dependencia emocional es su miedo a las pérdidas y al rechazo de las personas queridas, en este caso, de la pareja. Tienen miedo a hacer algo que al otro no le guste, y que esa persona decida dejarles o retirarles su amor y su cariño. Así que buscan continuamente complacerle, hacer lo que se supone que el otro quiere o desea. Intentan adivinar qué es lo que gustaría al otro en cada una de sus acciones, con el consiguiente riesgo de equivocarse, ya que por mucho que conozcamos a una persona, no sabemos lo que les pasa por la cabeza en cada uno de los momentos de sus vidas. Si nos ponemos a pensarlo, muchas veces ni siquiera nosotros comprendemos nuestras acciones, así que será difícil controlar cada una de las reacciones del otro. Pero aún así, estas personas intentan hacerse expertas en adaptarse a las necesidades y deseos que creen que el otro tiene. El intentar adaptarse al otro y conseguirlo en algunas ocasiones, les hace sentirse bien por haber conseguido satisfacer a la pareja en alguna cosa. Se sienten bien también por ellas mismas, ya que han logrado de nuevo evitar una pérdida de esa persona. Pero a la vez se van sintiendo cada vez peor, ya que ellas han renunciado y siguen renunciando a sus sueños, a sus ilusiones y han puesto toda su felicidad en que el otro sea feliz, ya que se supone que siendo él feliz, ella se sentirá así de bien automáticamente.
> >